X-Message-Number: 10433
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1998 00:25:24 -0700 (PDT)
From: Doug Skrecky <>
Subject: (fwd) Buzz Words

(nothing to do with cryonics, but some of this is *funny*)

From: Russ <>
Newsgroups: alt.penpals.forty-plus-yrs
Subject: Buzz Words
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1998 20:34:32 GMT

 Blame storming:  Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

 Body Nazis:  Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look
down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.

 Seagull Manager:  A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps
over everything and then leaves.

 Chainsaw Consultant:  An outside expert brought in to reduce the
employee  head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

 Cube Farm:  An office filled with cubicles.

 Idea Hamsters:  People who always seem to have their idea generators

 Mouse Potato:  The online, wired generation's answer to the couch

 Prairie Dogging:  When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going

 SITCOMs:  What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of
them stops working to stay  home with the kids.  Stands for Single
Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

 Squirt the Bird:  To transmit a signal to a satellite.

Starter Marriage:  A short-lived first marriage that  ends in divorce
with no kids, no property, and no  regrets.

 Stress Puppy:  A person who seems to thrive on  being stressed out and

 Swiped Out:  An ATM or credit card that has been  rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is  worn away from extensive use.

 Tourists:  People who take training classes just to  get a vacation
from their jobs.  "We had three  serious students in class; the rest
were just  tourists."

 Treeware:  Hacker slang for documentation or  other printed material.

 Xerox Subsidy:  Euphemism for swiping free  photocopies from one's work

 Going Postal:  Euphemism for being totally  stressed out, for losing
it. Makes reference to the  unfortunate track record of postal employees
 have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.

 Alpha Geek:  The most knowledgeable, technically  proficient person in
an office or work group.  "Ask Larry, he's the Alpha Geek around here.

 Assmosis:  The process by which some people  seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

 Chips and Salsa:  Chips = hardware, Salsa =  software.  "Well, first we
gotta figure out if the  problem is in your chips or your salsa."

 Flight Risk:  Used to describe employees who are  suspected of planning
to leave a company or  department soon.

 GOOD job:  A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job.  A  well-paying job people take in
order to pay off their  debts, one that they will quit as soon as they
 solvent again.

 Irritainment:  Entertainment and media spectacles  that are annoying,
but  you find yourself unable  to stop watching them.  The O.J. trials
were a prime  example.

 Percussive Maintenance:  The fine art of whacking  the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to  work again.

 Uninstalled:  Euphemism for being fired.  Heard on  the voicemail of a
Vice President at a downsizing  computer firm:  "You have reached the
number of
 an uninstalled Vice President.  Please dial our  main number and ask
the operator for assistance."  See also Decruitment.

 Vulcan Nerve Pinch:  The taxing hand positions  required to reach all
the appropriate keys for certain commands.  For instance, the warm
 re-boot for a Mac II computer involves  simultaneously pressing the
Control Key, the  Command key, the Return key and the Power On  key.

 Yuppie Food Stamps:  The ubiquitous $20 bills  spewed out of ATMs
everywhere.  Often used when  trying to split the bill after a meal: "We
all owe $8  each, but all everybody's got is yuppie food stamps."

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