X-Message-Number: 1098
Date: Mon, 3 Aug 92 18:32:15 PDT
From:  (Daniel Green)
Subject: Re: Obligations to Loved Ones in Suspension

Charles brings up a real dilemma with no simple answer,
ie how and when to *let someone go*.  The *how* half
of the question is without doubt the most difficult but
how to answer *when* is clear to me, and that is at the
time of their suspension.  Let's face it, the chances of
any of us ever being revived are very slim.  Even if a
couple were to be suspended and revived together, I doubt
their relationship could handle the sheer strain of the
certain monumental changes they would face.

Regarding *how* to let go, I can only suggest trying to
emotionally treat the suspension of a mate as you
would a true death as much as possible.  Try to accept
that the person is gone and the relationship ended.

The one nice side to this sad situation is the prospect of
meeting *anyone* from your own time again.  You can be certain
that you will bond far more tightly to even your worse enemy
from today that you may meet again in your revived world
than you will to anyone else (try moving alone into a foreign
culture to see what I mean).  No, if you do meet a loved one
again it will be a time for rejoicing, but it will also be a
completely new game.

- Daniel Green

[ Daniel, here is something to complicate the situation.  Message #845
  mentions Mike Darwin's Nov. 1990 Cryonics magazine article titled
  "Communicating With Suspension Patients".  In that article he gives
  several reasons why we should write to friends and loved ones in
  suspension.  (Upon reanimation, they will really appreciate the
  updates on how their friends & loved ones turned out, it will make
  us feel good to communicate to the person in suspension, etc.)
  I then suggested an even more important reason; to NOT communicate
  to friends and loved ones in suspension would be the same as treating
  them as "dead and gone", which means that all our talk of suspension
  patients not being dead is, at an emotional level, just hypocrasy.
  Thus, your suggestion to treat a suspended mate as truly dead would
  be unsatisfactory, too.  One alternative, though, would be to treat
  the mate as divorced, not dead.  Also, people who are divorced often
  are not on speaking terms. :-) - KQB ]

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