X-Message-Number: 11984
From: "John Grigg" <>
Subject: Transhuman rats will be stopped by man's real best friend!
Date: Mon, 21 Jun 1999 18:24:19 PDT

Hello everyone,

I am very concerned now about transrodents.  I do not want to be reanimated
by these rats only to have them lord it over me!  Being a ferret owner I can
say that should the ferrets also be transformed they would never ally with
the rotten rodents.  For you see ferrets have that almost rat-like form so
they can better hunt their prey and go where he does.  

We would live in a world where the transrodents and transferrets would
battle each other to the death.  The very sight of a rodent makes a ferret
go nuts with desire to kill.  Even as superintelligent beings the ferrets
would still have those old instincts rising to the surface.  Initially there
might be an alliance but then it would collapse into a vicious war!

I see the transrodents uplifting (David Brin term for raising to sentience
an animal species through genetic engineering) transprairie dogs since they
and the ferret have an age old feud of predator and prey.  Transprairie dogs
would use their natural affinity for living in colonies to great advantage.

The transferrets to tip the balance in their favor create transfelines!
Ferrets and cats get along very well and love to play and frolic with each
other.  This powerful alliance would surely hold the transferrets in check!

The transrodents would probably respond by creating transbeavers who would
be the most incredible engineers and builders!  Though I see the
transbeavers seeing themselves as much better then their other trasrodent

To offset the weaponry and fortifications of the transbeavers the
transferrets and transfelines would create the deadly and relentless
trans-schnauser!  This now super-intelligent dog would let its furious bark
be heard throughout the galaxy as it cornered the transrodents.  
Following this success the transferrets would follow it up with transweiner
dogs and transbeagles.  The very hypersonic bark of these predators as they
scoured the planet in their war machines would send the tranrodents

At this point the transrodents would be on the verge of defeat and would
like the Nazi's in 1945 be desperate for anyway to stave off defeat!  They
would then begin to create transinsects such as the transant and

This would be seen as an insane act of war to give insects and especially
ants the uplift to super-intelligence and the ability to master and develop
technology.  Even the transprairie dogs will protest this hapless act of

The gigantic numbers and disregard for their own lives when necessary for
the hive will allow the transants to quickly beat back the transferrets and
their allies.  The transferrets in desperation will remember back on how
many humans actually treated them with great love and even devoted whole
websites to them.  They will then decide to actually uplift humans to
possible help things out.  

Humans already possessing large brains and strong intellectual capacity will
become the brightest and most creative when transformed into...transhumans!

Transhumans will create the one weapon that can stave off the transrodents
and their numberless allies the transants which will be a device that can
generate small artificial black holes wherever the want and with total
control of how much damage they wreak!  Within hours the rotten
transrodents and tranants will have been annihilated with the exception of
the transprairie dogs who are put on reservations.  

After this war transferrets and other now uplifted animals dwell as equals
with humans in this new society.  Peace reigns and life is very good for
all.  Of course even trans ferrets still chase after exposed human ankles
when given the opportunity!  

You mark my words that the ferret is at heart humanity's friend and will in
the end stop these rotten transrodents!  So treat your pet ferrets very well
to be a good example of what humans are all about.  Of course the
transferrets will do terrible things to the humans in the California state
government that refused to allow people to have them there!


John Grigg  

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