X-Message-Number: 15330
Date: Fri, 12 Jan 2001 11:41:02 -0500 (EST)
From: Charles Platt <>
Subject: News from the Future

I recently received the following message, transmitted via a
quantum-tunneling time portal that I access occasionally to check on
future events. I may shed some light on my reasons for feeling that any
further responses to a certain spokesperson who posts frequently here are
a waste of my time, his time, your time, and everyone else's time.

Cryomessage #1987203845
From Bobo Pettifog
January 12, 2015

While the resuscitation of a whole monkey brain that had been maintained
at -150 Celsius for two days by the scientists at 22nd Century Medicine is
of course a remarkable achievement, deserving the highest praise, we
should not let our emotions run away with us, and must keep this
achievement in perspective. I have never claimed to be a biologist
(although lack of formal qualifications should not discourage any of us
from making categorical statements based on superficial understanding of a
subject, since "experts" from Copernicus onward have been guilty of
egregious errors which could have been avoided if they had been better
able to think for themselves instead of being so influenced by the
blinkered scientific establishment). However it is clear to me, and to
anyone with a grain of sense, that a monkey brain not only weighs less
than a human brain (enabling it to be cooled and warmed much faster), but
is completely different on a functional and cellular level, lacking the
"self circuit" that I have shown is so essential for full function of a
human brain.

Moreover, since the monkey brain was isolated from the monkey's body, this
is of little relevance to the resuscitation of whole bodies, such as we
have at GI. Also, since a monkey is unable to talk, we must simply trust
the judgment of 22CM scientists who claim that their EEG measurements,
eye-reflex tests, and other tests confirm that the brain is "alive." Such
primitive functions are of little help in determining whether cognitive
faculties are intact, quite apart from the "self circuit."

So long as a good part of this research remains unreported in detail, we
can only wonder whether the claims are justified. This is not to belittle
the work at 22CM, which is of course quite significant, and deserves the
usual faint praise that I bestow from time to time--not to be confused
with the unstinting praise that I offer for any work conducted at the
organization which I founded, no matter how meager its results may be.

However I must remind readers to "Look before you leap"and consider the
options very carefully before committing yourself to a decision that could
affect your future survival. While I have said very often that optimism is
a valuable commodity, it can be quite dangerous "in the wrong hands,"
which is to say, when it is other people's optimism, as opposed to my own
optimism which is supported by my own probability theory that goes far
beyond anything achieved by "establishment" mathematicians.

Work continues at GI, where Dr. Idiovitch is making excellent progress
with our latest cryopreservation solution applied to a shipment of
elephant brains that we received last month from Africa, in quite good
condition despite the long voyage. The results will be posted on our web
site in due course. As I have often said, when other people's important
new research has been validated in our own labs (currently under
construction) we will offer its results to our members, no matter how much
I have ridiculed it in the past. In the meantime I can assure everyone
that the embalming pumps maintained by our trained team of crack
morticians are in a constant state of readiness, unlike the elaborate,
cumbersome, and failure-prone perfusion equipment used by certain other
organizations, whose names I hardly need to mention, since I have smeared
them so often here. While my definitive statement on the recently reported
research is still in preparation, I urge readers to exercise extreme
caution when evaluating the elephants at GI vs. the monkeys at 22CM.

--Bobo Pettifog, founder emeritus and trusted voice of authority,
Gerionics Institute

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