X-Message-Number: 1643 Date: 19 Jan 93 13:43:47 EST From: Charles Platt <> Subject: CRYONICS Fable To: Cryonet Normally I never write fiction unless I'm getting paid for it. But the three recent postings from Mike Darwin tempted me to concoct the following fable. Of necessity, this fable is somewhat simplified and should not be taken as an exact model of reality. Many key events and characters have been omitted. ANIMAL CIRCUS There was once a small, low-rent circus that tottered on the brink of bankruptcy. This circus was unusual in that it was run entirely by the animals, without any human supervision. The star attraction of the circus was a wily wolf who had practiced his tricks with fanatical dedication ever since he was a young cub. He had the circus in his blood, and he was a great performer, which made some of the animals secretly jealous. On the other hand, they knew that audiences came to the circus partly because they had heard about the amazing things that the wolf could do; so the animals put up with the wolf as well as they could, because without him, the circus might go out of business. Unfortunately, the wolf was not a modest fellow. He was well aware of his importance, and made no secret of it. Also, he complained very loudly if everything wasn't "just so." This was very irritating, especially to a bear and a tiger, who felt the wolf was too much of a prima donna for their liking, One day, the wolf started growling at everyone (which he tended to do from time to time). He complained that the cages were dirty, the seats for the spectators were unsafe, the posters that the circus put up around town described some tricks which could not actually be performed, and the the turtle who supervised the finances was cooking the books. In disgust, the wolf walked out of the circus and went away on his own to a lair by the river which had been loaned to him by a friendly beaver. "So let him go," said the bear. "He's a wonderful fellow, and personally I admire him immensely, but maybe we're better off without him." "He's a vainglorious, two-faced troublemaker," said the tiger. "He's more of a liability to this circus than an asset. Look how moody he is! Remember the times he bit some of the animals who didn't do their tricks right? There was no call for that. I've been practicing on my own, and I've already mastered most of his techniques. I'll get us even bigger audiences, wait and see." The rest of the animals weren't so sure. Still, the wolf said he wasn't coming back, so there wasn't much they could do about it. The circus continued. Some people asked where the wolf had gone, and two customers asked for refunds. But the circus was still the best show in town, so it looked as if it would weather the storm. Meanwhile, the wolf was happy in his lair. But a passing carrier pigeon told him that the animals back at the circus were talking about him behind his back, belittling his abilities and maligning his character. This hurt the wolf's pride and upset his sense of justice, so he went and sat by the circus one night and made a terrible howling noise that disrupted the performance that was going on inside the tent. Then the wolf went back to his lair and wasn't seen again. But the bear and the tiger didn't trust him to stay out of the way, and they were mad as hell about the howling. "I've always admired the fellow, myself," the bear said. "And I believe it's time we put all our differences behind us. However, in view of his recent behavior, I say, let's go get him!" "Now you're talking!" said the tiger. So they went to the wolf's lair, hunkered down outside, and started snarling at him, poking him with a long pointed stick, and making nasty comments about him and his relatives. The commotion attracted a lot of other animals, who gathered around to watch. For a long time, the wolf refused to respond in any way. But finally he was jabbed so hard, he leaped out, grabbed the stick, broke it in half, bit the bear on the leg and the neck, and sank his teeth into the tiger's tail, before they even knew what had happened. "There!" he growled. "I'm still faster and meaner than both of you put together. You should have had enough sense to let sleeping dogs lie!" ------------------------------------------------------------- There's no ending and no moral to this story, because it isn't over yet. However, we do have a mid-term examination. 1. Which of the animals acted most sensibly: the wolf, the bear, or the tiger? 2. What should the other animals do, as a group, if their aim is to stop the circus from going bankrupt? 3. Is there anything that the audience can do, if they want the animals to put on a good show and stop snarling at each other? Rate This Message: http://www.cryonet.org/cgi-bin/rate.cgi?msg=1643