X-Message-Number: 17706 From: "john grigg" <> Subject: HUMOR: Dr. Jerry Lemler's 34 points for ALCOR! Date: Sat, 06 Oct 2001 13:24:44 Hello everyone, I have not yet found out what are Dr. Lemler's 34 points to improve ALCOR. But, by putting my imagination to work, I have come up with what COULD be his plan. 1. To remind himself of home, have all ALCOR employees learn to speak with a southern accent. 2. Install a ninety-nine cents all-you-can-eat buffet. This will bring in people like nothing else! 3. Discontinue the term, "neuro-stasis." Instead, replace it with a term taken from the 7-11 convenience store advertising campaign for slushies, which happens to be, "brain-freeze!" And use their picture of a young boy with an agonized facial expression because the slushy coldness just hit him! 4. Time for Hugh Hixon, Mike Perry and others to finally leave the nest! But, they can always come back to have dinner with the family. 5. Ten hours of psychoanalysis for everyone who signs up! One hour weekly of psychoanalysis to all staff members. 6. Plan expedition to capture bigfoot -then freeze him! 7. Offer Osama Bin Laden a nice refreshing liquid nitrogen bath to cool down from all the stress he has been under! 8. Tell Fred Chamberlain he needs to learn how to clone money! Wait, that may be illegal! 9. Insist Charles Platt right one unabashedly super-optimistic column for the ALCOR magazine. I mean on par with a typical post from George Smith! 10. Start up a new t.v. cable show called, "This Week at Alcor." Do not hire those Wayne and Garth guys to host it... 11. Create a cryonics promoting rock band! Name it the, "Frozen Heads!" 12. Recruit Bill Gates! 13. Start up the first ever, "Cryonics Olympics!" Then beat try to beat Robert Ettinger in the swimming competion. 14. Train my cat to ferociously defend ALCOR facilities from intruders. 15. Invest all extra income into lottery tickets. When we win big, money problems solved!! 16. Send some muscle over to those Cells4Life guys, tell 'em a five per cent cut just ain't enough anymore! Uncle Jerry is raising his cut to ten per cent! Or just tell them it's one of those religious tithing deals! 17. Recruit Wierd Al Yankovic! He can write songs which will really promote cryonics in just the way we want people to see it... 18. Move ALCOR to the Vegas strip!! ALCOR Casino here we come!! Our money problems will be solved! Must ask banks for a five-hundred million dollar loan raise the necessary capital. 19. Start up an ALCOR debate team! Charles Platt will be team captain! 20. Start up an ALCOR telethon! There must be enough interesting cryonicists to keep it going for twenty-four hours! 21. Recruit Julia Roberts for John Grigg. This will allow John to see Julia at ALCOR activities. He will definitely relocate from Alaska for this. 22. To raise money start up a part-time psychiatric practice in Scottsdale where I will specialize in patients with a deep fear of death. "Why I head an organization which could really help you..." 23. Start dressing like Dr. Evil! 24. Have a class of second graders paint bright murals on the boring ALCOR walls, inside and out. 25. Hold a tribute to Robert Ettinger as a founding father of cryonics before he eventually dies. 26. Have the ALCOR magazine revamped by the editors of Esquire. 27. Update pre-pentium computers with quantum computing models! 28. Ask Tim Burton to redesign the ALCOR ambulance. 29. Equip each standby team member with a surplus issue Mig-21 fighter jet! Make sure everyone has a pilot's license first... 30. Have the 2002 ALCOR conference in Vegas, then in 2003 follow John Grigg's advice and have it at the playboy mansion. Wives and girlfriends may veto this... 31. Brag even more about my great family!! 32. Start up the ALCOR Polar Bear Club! Actually, considering the climate here, I should create the ALCOR Roadrunner Heatstroke Club! 33. Recruit Larry Ellison! 34. Make ALCOR the number one tourist attraction in Arizona!! I hope I made some people smile with this. Because after all, this COULD be his plan! best wishes, John : ) Hello everyone, I have not yet found out what are Dr. Lemler's 34 points to improve ALCOR. But, by putting my imagination to work, I have come up with what COULD be his plan. 1. To remind himself of home, have all ALCOR employees learn to speak with a southern accent. 2. Install a ninety-nine cents all-you-can-eat buffet. This will bring in people like nothing else! 3. Discontinue the term, "neuro-stasis." Instead, replace it with a term taken from the 7-11 convenience store advertising campaign for slushies, which happens to be, "brain-freeze!" And use their picture of a young boy with an agonized facial expression because the slushy coldness just hit him! 4. Time for Hugh Hixon, Mike Perry and others to finally leave the nest! But, they can always come back to have dinner with the family. 5. Ten hours of psychoanalysis for everyone who signs up! One hour weekly of psychoanalysis to all staff members. 6. Plan expedition to capture bigfoot -then freeze him! 7. Offer Osama Bin Laden a nice refreshing liquid nitrogen bath to cool down from all the stress he has been under! 8. Tell Fred Chamberlain he needs to learn how to clone money! Wait, that may be illegal! 9. Insist Charles Platt right one unabashedly super-optimistic column for the ALCOR magazine. I mean on par with a typical post from George Smith! 10. Start up a new t.v. cable show called, "This Week at Alcor." Do not hire those Wayne and Garth guys to host it... 11. Create a cryonics promoting rock band! Name it the, "Frozen Heads!" 12. Recruit Bill Gates! 13. Start up the first ever, "Cryonics Olympics!" Then beat try to beat Robert Ettinger in the swimming competion. 14. Train my cat to ferociously defend ALCOR facilities from intruders. 15. Invest all extra income into lottery tickets. When we win big, money problems solved!! 16. Send some muscle over to those Cells4Life guys, tell 'em a five per cent cut just ain't enough anymore! Uncle Jerry is raising his cut to ten per cent! Or just tell them it's one of those religious tithing deals! 17. Recruit Wierd Al Yankovic! He can write songs which will really promote cryonics in just the way we want people to see it... 18. Move ALCOR to the Vegas strip!! ALCOR Casino here we come!! Our money problems will be solved! Must ask banks for a five-hundred million dollar loan raise the necessary capital. 19. Start up an ALCOR debate team! Charles Platt will be team captain! 20. Start up an ALCOR telethon! There must be enough interesting cryonicists to keep it going for twenty-four hours! 21. Recruit Julia Roberts for John Grigg. This will allow John to see Julia at ALCOR activities. He will definitely relocate from Alaska for this. 22. To raise money start up a part-time psychiatric practice in Scottsdale where I will specialize in patients with a deep fear of death. "Why I head an organization which could really help you..." 23. Start dressing like Dr. Evil! 24. Have a class of second graders paint bright murals on the boring ALCOR walls, inside and out. 25. Hold a tribute to Robert Ettinger as a founding father of cryonics before he eventually dies. 26. Have the ALCOR magazine revamped by the editors of Esquire. 27. Update pre-pentium computers with quantum computing models! 28. Ask Tim Burton to redesign the ALCOR ambulance. 29. Equip each standby team member with a surplus issue Mig-21 fighter jet! Make sure everyone has a pilot's license first... 30. Have the 2002 ALCOR conference in Vegas, then in 2003 follow John Grigg's advice and have it at the playboy mansion. Wives and girlfriends may veto this... 31. Brag even more about my great family!! 32. Start up the ALCOR Polar Bear Club! Actually, considering the climate here, I should create the ALCOR Roadrunner Heatstroke Club! 33. Recruit Larry Ellison! 34. Make ALCOR the number one tourist attraction in Arizona!! I hope I made some people smile with this. Because after all, this COULD be his plan! best wishes, John : ) _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp Rate This Message: http://www.cryonet.org/cgi-bin/rate.cgi?msg=17706