X-Message-Number: 18793
Date: Wed, 13 Mar 2002 23:35:10 -0800
From: "John Grigg" <>
Subject: Demoralizing the enemy!  :   )

I thought this story could get a chuckle or two from list members! : )

John


French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan to Convince Taliban of 
Non-Existence of God


The clean-up portion of the ground war in Afghanistan heated up yesterday when 
the Allies revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist 
philosophers into the country to destroy the morale of
the remaining Taliban zealots by proving the non-existence of God.


Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets', will be 
parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency and existential 
anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous intellectual battles fought during 
their long occupation of Paris's Left Bank, their

first action will be to establish a number of sidewalk cafes at strategic points
near the front lines.


There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd nature of life
and man's lonely isolation in the universe. They will be accompanied by a 
number of heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will further spread dismay 
by sticking their tongues in the philosophers' ears every five minutes and 
looking remote and unattainable to everyone else.


Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his confidence in 
the success of their mission. Sorbonne graduate Belmondo, a very intense

and unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated wildly and said, "The 
Taliban are caught in a logical fallacy of the most ridiculous.  There is no God
and I can prove it. Take your tongue out of my ear, Juliette, I am talking."


Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nauseating freedom of 
action with special reference to the work of Foucault and the films of Alfred 
Hitchcock.


However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to condemn the operation as 
inhumane, pointing out that the effects of passive smoking from the Frenchmens' 
endless Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on civilians in the area.



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