X-Message-Number: 22254
From: (John Krug)
Date: Sat, 26 Jul 2003 11:29:10 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Fwd: some humor
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Hi:
..... I thought that you life expander types on cryonet would enjoy some
laughs....Read on!
Best Regards! John B. Krug
"The Future is about Nerve. Who has It. who does not" -Paul Kantner
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Date: Sat, 26 Jul 2003 12:43:48 -0400
Reply-To: Tom Vincent <>
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From: Tom Vincent <>
Subject: some humor
To:
X-Brightmail: Message tested, results are inconclusive
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS
Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, "Where did you
get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking
along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on
this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and
said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good
choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half
empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these
guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I
don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey,
here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say,
what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The
greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They
lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always
let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment. The
pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them
tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The
engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate
with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an
Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts
degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just
look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last
one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the
passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?" "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you
are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get
some work done."
Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and
said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you
kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING
you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it
back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've
told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week
and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look,
I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now
that's cool."
--
---Tom Vincent
Art & Design by Tom Vincent
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http://www.tvincent.com
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