X-Message-Number: 22613
From: "Kitty Antonik Wakfer" <>
Subject: Expressing Relief and Hope
Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2003 18:30:02 -0400


To those interested in bettering the current situation of cryonics and willing 
to do

soul-searching and take the time to understand ... really. The message below has
implications for the present and future of cryonics - for the growth of the

individuals who want to see a better "community".  ...There really is a future 
in the

past...a saving of the situation now... I invite those reading me to just take 
the

time to listen, and travel with me...I will tell/show you a story that can be 
very

interesting/enlightening/discouraging/inspiring....it's up to the individual and
his/her ability/willingness to stop/turn/look/consider/wonder.


I was hoping to get this completed to make the cutoff for the 9/30 edition, but 
it

became evident a few minutes ago that this would not happen. Instead I may be 
the
first for 10/1 and this is good enough since Charles and Ben will be getting a
private copy. I want to give assistance to Charles and congratulations to Ben,

because in the past I have had my own difficulties in being friends with both of

them - maybe because at those times I had not learned yet to fully appreciate 
our

similarities and wonder at the possibility of strength in our differences. I 
have

gained much insight with this manic episode - the countless winding and 
unwinding in

so many directions at almost the same time in the same place - I have been going

through since 9/22.  But I have now learned that if I can continue to maintain 
my

balance in all these dimensions/planes; I can do more than endure.  I can renew 
and
grow - wind and rewind with control - *my* control; not that of imposed/forced

medication/hospitalization. I can ensure my own survival by using my own talents
and
those of others with whom I choose to associate.


To my/our upstairs neighbor, Ben, come on down and let's listen and dance to 
Alan

Parsons Project's "I, Robot" together and wonder at the power of the words and 
music
and the relevance for us - to our individual histories/present. Charles, if you
aren't familiar with this music group, you may want to investigate - there is

strength/support/therapy in music - and dance. When we are in AZ in a few weeks,
we
hope that you will want to drive south and visit at our house - I want to limit

travel and keep to our home base (either of the 2) as much as possible for a 
while.


A special public congratulations once again to Jerry Lemler. Jerry, I could in 
my way

feel the difficult (to put it mildly) sensations/emotions you were/are 
experiencing

in this most difficult/painful/fearful series/collection of events/activities. I
have

many times been in positions of assistance to individuals who have been somewhat

where you stand now. The big difference now though is that you have a life boat 
with
your name on it just waiting for you to need it...This is such an important
difference that it can provide much peace - if the the life boat is of the best
quality material. But if it is not, then we do not know...we can only
hope/wonder/fear.


And assurance is what has been sorely missing from cryonics all these many 
years.

Wishing just does not make it so, no matter how many wishers there are... It 
takes

cold/hard facts/science/work/honesty...Now, finally there appears to be 
sufficient

willingness by serious "players" to look inside the box/self and consider/wonder
if
there is something more, something else that is obstructing progress...
something(s)/someone(s) that would help solve the problem(s)...
The show must go on...if we want more... if we want to comeback and continue to

play/investigate/produce/play/wonder/enjoy/learn....day after day the show must 
go

on - we want to go w/ time on our side... I have hope.. I am 
relieved/hopeful/...in

some wonder that the puzzle is solvable/understandable/beneficial/valuable... in
a

sense it is mind expanding - but could be painful/fearful for those who don't 
have
assurance that an individual can learn how to see the dots/relevance and how to

connect/relate them and understand that there is value in the connections .... 
that
it is a tool of understanding about oneself and others and how to improve
relationships... in order to work together..to grow..to succeed... -->>
metamorphosis. -->>survival, Survival, SURVIVAL. It can be done. Each of us can

achieve so much more understanding/knowledge....we can work together better ....


That is enough for now...anyone who has read this far should get the 
picture....I

think/hope I wrote it well enough...If not, you'll just have to watch the movie 
:>)

**Kitty


PS: 18:21 09/30/03  ...Paul has just completed review of the above message and 
is

comfortable w/ it being sent {cd changer holding Alan Parsons Project 
CD:Stereotomy

in the #1 position; track 2...sipping red wine, eating salmon dinner leftovers 
from

last night... better// have been taking Lithium 100mg BID - last dose 10:20 
today...
..better..better.. i ok...  ...>>>> track 3 starting...  ...  ... back

later...later.. i ok..[position 5 in changer is being held by Alan Parsons (new 
group

project): Time Machine ..!!<>  ** oh boy.....lok...i am ok..your' ok too...just 
give
it time..to settle to get balance..s.... later...Up uplll.ok..yes..

**********************
From: Kitty Antonik Wakfer []
Sent: Tuesday, September 30, 2003 4:50 AM
To: Aubrey de Grey
Subject: RE: IABG 10: Would you like to write a meeting report?

Hi Aubrey,


I've already started a report on the effects of IABG10 on me personally, which 
is a

severe situation but has applications for all other attendees. This one in 
progress

will be multi-faceted and actually has an objective the understanding by others 
of
how I - a manic depressive (bipolar) - reacted to an enormously stress-filled,

rest-deprived, thought provoking 3.5 days. I have been collecting data on myself
and

the coping mechanisms that I utilized and "developed" with this, my 4th episode 
since

the initial one in 1975, diagnosed as acute dissociative reaction - simply a 
label

for the displayed signs and symptoms.  This "case history" and patient/nurse's 
notes
will be an entry in the Kitty Reflects on MoreLife

<http://morelife.org/personal/kittyreflects/>. (It will take a week or two for 
me to
do this while attending to other MoreLife business.)


I intend to make some specific suggestions for improved conferences and team 
building

activities, with the objective being *optimum* levels of stress for each 
individual

for his/her own health of body and mind. This is important - vitally so - not 
just

because of the essential value of the individual's health to himself because of 
the
principle of the I and the non-I (see Natural Social Contract_annotated

<http://selfsip.org/solutions/socialcontract_annotated.html>), but because once 
this

principle is followed and respected by large numbers of people, the interactions
between them - and even with those who have not fully reached this level of

understanding - will be far better for *all*. The order of importance is the *I*
-

and then the other individuals of the non-I; the order can *not* be reversed. 
This

lesson must be learned by those who are, with all good will and enthusiasm for 
the

enormity and importance of the problem to be solved, tending to stuff as much as

physically possible for them personally and the facilities they are using.  
Failure
to remember that each potential and actual team member brings with him to an
intensive conference/training session his own set of physical/psychological

"problems", can result in damage at some level to the individual and risk of 
reduced
effectiveness of the team as a whole.


Since I'm almost there with a verbal picture of what occurred - and is only just
now

resolving itself for the better for me, and for Paul and I as a team/couple - is
the

manic episode I have been in since Monday 9/22/03 - "Manic Monday". You and 
others
saw me that night and the following day in a controlled mania which was almost
entirely of pleasure, w/ a much lesser aspect of depression in the background -

Paul's periodic expressed feelings of depression, of being "out of place". I 
have

been on my own personal search for further understanding of everything/(portions
of

everything) for how/where/why there are interconnections/relationships between 
them

now/(in the past)/(in the future) for me and others.  It has been a lonely 
journey at

time because of the confusion and fear such a search can create, or at least the
fear

in me that such a expedition causes.  The travel was initially fascinating and 
most

pleasurable and didn't become really uncomfortable until Wednesday 9/24 because 
of my

failure to get adequate rest/relaxation during the waking hours and actual sleep
at
night from Friday 9/19. By Wed, I was in a "driven search" and have only now
*finally* understood why I've been searching, searching - > Survival... of the

individual, chosen teams, and the entire human race (all individuals who choose 
to
understand why and how). I think I have found a tool that will allow others to

visually connect with the experiences of my search - my visual autobiography.  
That's

enough for now as a written explanation; better understanding can really only be

attained by an in-person discussion with specific background music that is 
extremely
complementary to my view of myself.  If you (and Adelaide too, an important

ingredient for full comprehension/appreciation) will be coming to Toronto or 
Phoenix

anytime during the year when we are in residence in either of those locations, 
you

are most welcome to visit with us. The added learning experience of such a 
meeting
would be valuable to both of us/(our teams)/(our individual/combined projects).

I hope that Adelaide has fully recovered from her cold.  And an added note - I
*thoroughly* enjoyed the punting - both of them - and look forward to a similar

adventure in learning about various people.  Both trips were a good team 
building

experience and .... I am getting ahead of myself; I am still doing it.. My level
of

synchronicity is still fragile. I am tired and will, I think though, now finally
be
able to start getting more sleep.

**Kitty

**Kitty Antonik Wakfer
MoreLife for the rational - http://morelife.org
Reality based tools for more life in quantity and quality
Self-Sovereign Individual Project - http://selfsip.org
Rational freedom by self-sovereignty & social contracting



> -----Original Message-----
> From: Aubrey de Grey [mailto:]
> Sent: Monday, September 29, 2003 12:11 PM
> To: 
> Cc: 
> Subject: IABG 10: Would you like to write a meeting report?
>
>
>
> Hi all,
>
> I am already thinking about how to make sure that the success of IABG10
> translates into good things for future meetings and the enhanced profile
> of biomedical gerontology in general.  I am sure that the most important
> thing at this point is to let the world know how successful IABG 10 was.
> Therefore, I am writing to ask you whether you would be interested in
> writing a meeting report.  A few journals have asked me to write one,
> but they will be much more influential if someone other than me writes
> them (and also, it is important that a lot of them are written!).

<snip>


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