X-Message-Number: 22957
From: 
Date: Sat, 29 Nov 2003 02:44:41 EST
Subject: Re: "Friends"

> Paul Wakfer wrote:
> Speaking for myself and Kitty, neither of us consider anyone on this 
> list to be "friends". We think that it is important for people to be 
> more judgmental of character and worldview when selecting friends and to 
> only call people "friends" when they share one's *fundamental* approach 
> to reality.
> (end)
> 
> And John Grigg wrote:   I admit the word "friend" is perhaps used too freely 
> in American society.... 

Whenever American English diverges from British English, both Americans and 
Britons tend to assume we Americans are wrong.  This assumption is frequently 
erroneous, and is in this case.  "Friend" in England has become very strong, 

meaning something like "a person I grew up with, and whom I would trust with my
life and vouch for even to the King."  In America it often has a much weaker 
meaning that encompasses even an acquaintance I made five minutes ago.  Can 
there possibly be any excuse for the weak sense of "friend", or is this just 
another example of American degeneracy?  

Yes there can. The weak meaning is very old, and likely the original meaning. 
It is the British who have diverged from the usual sense of the word. 

Consider just one ancient expression, the sentry's challenge, "Halt, who goes 
there 

-- friend or foe?"  Obviously "friend" encompasses bosom buddies, people in the
sentry's army that the sentry does not even know,  folks in allied armies, 

neutral townsfolk just passing by, and in fact everybody in the world who is not
an enemy.  One can imagine an overparticular modern Brit answering that 
challenge with a sneer that "Well I'm certainly not your friend!"  Once.

Linguists on both sides of the pond generally agree that the differences 

between American and British English are interesting but in most cases there is 
no 
 right or wrong, and in cases where right can be determined it falls about 
equally on both parties.  And in this case our sense of "friend" is perfectly 
correct  -- though I do not criticize Paul's use either. The language belongs 
equally to all who speak it.

Alan Mole


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