X-Message-Number: 2624
Subject: CRYONICS: Spouses/Partners not signed up
Date: Tue, 22 Feb 1994 21:02:32 -0500
From: "Perry E. Metzger" <>

> From:  (Thomas Donaldson)

> Frankly, Perry, I don't see how you do that at all. If my wife (who IS a 
> cryonicist, though we disagree on many other things) were not signed up, I
> would find it unbearable. This is so even though I also believe that we
> are each responsible for our own fate. But not to be signed up? It would
> feel as if my wife were about to step off a cliff, or into the path of
> an onrushing locomotive. Ideas about responsibility or not...

It has nothing to do with responsibility. Its a realization that most
people don't care to be told what to do. 

I can enjoy the company of my mate knowing that she is not signed up,
or I can fail to enjoy it at all. This is not, of course, strictly
speaking true -- I'm sure that if I was tough enough about it I could
"persuade" her to sign up, but it would be entirely because of my
nagging and I am sure it would put a strain upon our relationship --
one that might very well contribute to destroying that which makes
thre relationship worthwhile to begin with.

In any case, we are both fairly young, and I hardly see her dying
tomorrow.  Even were she signed up for cryonics, the combined odds of
us remaining interested in each other and surviving to an age where
cryopreserved patients are revived are very low -- cryonics is a very
iffy proposition and people simply do not remain in love for decades,
let alone centuries. For this reason, I hardly see this as a crisis
similar to the one that would be present if she were to step in front
of an oncoming car.

> In practice, of course, if she (for some reason) became set on that path, we
> would probably separate. Or never have started living together in the first
> place. 

I choose the people I spend time with almost entirely on the basis of
whether or not I enjoy being around them. Occasionally, these people
share my world view, but very often they share little or none of it. I
none the less enjoy being around such people. My significant other is
a person who shares virtually none of my world view. However, we none
the less enjoy being around each other, for reasons apart from our
world views.

Were I to try to convince others of my opinions even when it is
obvious that they are not interested even in the discussion, I would
greatly narrow the number of people who I can remain friends with.
Long ago I learned that most people simply don't want to even discuss
certain matters, and its best to leave them alone under those


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