X-Message-Number: 26568 Date: Sun, 10 Jul 2005 07:43:31 -0700 (PDT) From: Scott Badger <> Subject: Humor: Suing God - Anon Suing God - Anon The Association of Trial Lawyers of America today announced that its members were collectively filing suit against God. The suit names God as a defendant in a class-action brought on behalf of the human race. Filed in New York District Court, the suit includes the following allegations: * That God did, knowingly and willfully, create an imperfect world, thus subjecting the defendants to virtually unlimited pain and suffering. * That, despite incessant complaints and orders to desist from plaintiffs and their duly authorized representatives, God allowed human suffering to continue up to the time the suit was filed. Plaintiffs also allege that they have exhausted various potential remedies prior to filing the suit. Attempted remedies have included, but not been limited, to: * Worship of multiple Gods, also known as pantheism. Regardless of the Gods selected, results were inadequate. * Sacrifice of both humans and animals. Fun, but only slight amelioration of pain and suffering. * Trying to replace God with society, also known as Communism. Despite being tried in numerous forms by different countries all over the globe, results were uniformly dismal. * Ignoring God. In its broadest form this included not only the idea of a deity, but also the idea of any moral standards; any distinction between right and wrong. Tested most vigorously in New York, LA, and Berlin. Plaintiffs found this route very profitable, and generally rewarding. Only resistance came from plaintiffs on verge of death. * Suing each other. Again, fun and profitable, but essentially a zero-sum game. Once trial lawyers had taken control of most assets the zero-sum nature of litigation became alarming. In the end they realized that God was playing divide and conquer. more at http://www.paganlibrary.com/humor/suing_god.php Rate This Message: http://www.cryonet.org/cgi-bin/rate.cgi?msg=26568