X-Message-Number: 31036
Date: Tue, 9 Sep 2008 09:08:32 -0700 (PDT)
From: William O'Rights <>
Subject: Dear Dad


A few months ago when I started this new round of chemo using different chemo 
drugs and a different dosing schedule I referred to it as chemo light. But with 
each round itaC s getting worse and IaC m getting sicker. I can no longer refer 
to it as chemo light. There were 2 letters I wrote during my first round of 
chemo, one to my Dad and one to Robert Ettinger. 
A 

This is a medical update I wrote for my Dad while at the hospital sometime in 
late April if I recall, after the 4th round of chemo. This will give you a good 
feel for what cancer patients go thru.
A 
Dear Dad,

A Just a quick update to let you know what my current medical condition is. IaC 
m in here for my 4th round of chemo. This round is hitting me harder than the 
rest. Days like today I question which will the chemo kill first, the cancer or 
me? My life has become one long iv drip, a sicken routine, if I am not in pain I
am vomiting and if I am not vomiting I constantly feel like I am getting ready 
to.
A 

A Cancer is more of a sense of unwellness, but chemo is more of an endless 
series of specific horrors where the cure feels worse than the disease. What you
might associate with cancer, loss of hair, a sick pallor, wasting away, these 
are actually the side effect of the treatment. Chemo is a matter of being slowly
eaten from the inside out by a destroying river of poison, until you donaC t 
have an eyelash left to bat.
A 

A This is the 4th round, and chemo has a cumulative effect. I done four cycles 
in the space of 3 months so the toxins build up on each phase. IaC ve gone from 
phase one sickish and constantly sleepy to on my hands and knees fighting nausea
and now in the fetal position retching around the clock for 8 days straight. I 
feel as if all of my vital organs have gone bad inside my body.
A 

A Chemo doesnaC t just kill cancer, it kills healthy cells too.. It is attacking
my bone marrow, my muscles, my teeth and gums, and the linings of my throat and
stomach. I couldnaC t eat for 8 days and now that I can I canaC t hold anything
down, which is a potential problem. Without protein I wonaC t be able to 
rebuild tissue. My weight has dropped to 136, I maybe have another 10 pounds of 
fat, but thataC s about it.
A 

A The next step is supposed to be radiation treatment, but I may have to refuse 
that. I am simply not well enough to go thru a 3-week course that also causes 
nausea and vomiting. I donaC t have enough fat reserves for a 21 day Radiation 
treatment session. I have already decided that I am not going to do the whole 
feeding tube routine.
A 

A None of this is a cure, it is all Palliative treatment. It doesnaC t change 
the statistical survival odds of 1 chance in 200 for survival, so passing on the
Radiation isnaC t a real big concern of mine. 
A 

A Well that is the update for now. I am not well enough to distribute this 
information so if you could pass this update to everyone. I will try to get you 
a better update when the effects of the chemo have gone away.
A 
Live Long and WellBill

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