X-Message-Number: 3390 Date: Sat, 5 Nov 1994 22:38:58 -0500 (EST) From: Subject: SCI.CRYONICS The Funeral Part 1 Date sent: 5-NOV-1994 22:28:09 THE FUNERAL Much has been written about the funeral, and there is currently a great deal being written about it. We shall try here to present some of the fundamental ideas and issues related to the funeral as a rite in our present-day society. The first issue discussed is the question "What is a funeral?" There are many definitions, and one will be examined more closely than others. The funeral will be examined as a process, or a series of highly related events. The funeral must be meeting some very important human needs, which is the focus of the next session, i.e., functions and purposes. Related to the idea of function is the question of value. A short section setting forth an idea on how to determine the worth of a funeral is presented. Then the social, psychological, and theological functions of the funeral are briefly discussed. The funeral is not "the only way" to do things, as a brief discussion on alternatives to the funeral indicates. The final section presents some ideas about what the future may hold regarding society and the viability of the funeral. WHAT IS A FUNERAL? As far removed from death as many of us seem to be, to ask "What is a funeral?" is neither purely academic nor facetious. That question has been asked and answered millions of times over since time began. It is not our purpose here to chart the historical development of a definition. But, it was only in recent decades that a west-coast psychiatrist developed and published a definition. William M. Lamers, Jr., wrote: "A funeral is an organized, purposeful, time-limited, flexible, group-centered response to death." (Lamers, W.M., Jr. "Funerals Are Good for People--M.D.'s Included." MEDICAL ECONOMICS, 46 June 23, 1969, p. 104-107) His definition was generally acceptable and has been widely used and quoted. The funeral industry added a little modification to Lamer's definition and in recent years the National Funeral Directors Association of the U.S. adopted the following definition of a funeral: "The funeral is an organized, purposeful, time-limited, flexible, group-centered response to death; involving rites and ceremonies during some or all of which, the body of the deceased is present." Let's examine a bit more closely the elements in the above definition. When it states that the funeral is ORGANIZED, it is referring to the idea that it is influenced by local and regional practices; that religion and religious dogma makes a contribution; that the specific needs and wants of the family influence it; and, that a funeral functionary, i.e., funeral director, will also be involved. The funeral has a PURPOSE, i.e., it is of the dead but for the living; it is to confront, express and share a loss and separation; to act as a vehicle for the expression of grief; and to dispose of a dead human body. The funeral is TIME-LIMITED, i.e., it is not an open-ended event, it does have a beginning and an end; it imposes a degree of emotional efficiency followed by a mourning process. The funeral is FLEXIBLE. The service and events will be different according to the age, sex, religion, and station of the deceased; it should be a product of the unique identity of the deceased, also of the relationship of the survivors to the deceased; and it must be able to accommodate any reasonable form of expression. The funeral is GROUP-CENTERED. Life is not a private event and neither is death. The funeral reaffirms the deceased's relationship to the group of which he/she was a part. Funerals are a group activity, sharing is involved, and therefore, a grief shared is a grief diminished. The funeral is a RESPONSE TO DEATH, i.e., it responds to the fact of death and does not avoid its reality; the response is immediate and not delayed; and all cultures and peoples have established acceptable and meaningful responses to death. The funeral has RITES AND CEREMONIES. Rites and ceremonies give verbal and nonverbal expressions to grief and provide safe and healthy means to express anger, anxiety, aggression, and guilt, etc. Religious ceremonials and expressions establish man's relationship to his "gods"; and in some religious groups, a way is provided that the living can assist the dead in their search for immortality, e.g. "prayers for the dead." The funeral is conducted WITH THE BODY PRESENT. It is a means of focusing emotions on the subject of the loss; to resolve by confrontation the preoccupation with the image of the deceased; to provide limits to the imagination in cases of long illness or accidental deaths which involve distortion or disfiguration of the body of the deceased; and to deal with reality. Reality means WHAT IS. It is normal to want to remember someone the way they were, but what must first be resolved is the way they are now--which is dead. Until what is has been resolved, what was will never be remembered without pain. In light of what has been stated here, and in the multitude of other writings on the funeral, it seems that there are many important dimensions and facets of the funeral. It appears that it cannot be adequately defined in a single sentence. It may be that it can only be defined by the individual in terms of their experience in the phases and functions of their bereavement. The word funeral is derived from the Latin funeralis which means a torch-light procession. The funeral appears to be the oldest of all processions. THE FUNERAL AS A PROCESS OF EVENTS It may be common to say a funeral is a funeral; and not be able to recognize or differentiate the various component parts that usually fit together so smoothly. There are five basic events, each of which may be viewed as having its ow [ I find this document rather amusing and would like to share it. There are more parts to it. Let me know if you think it is not amusing] Jan (John) Coetzee Rate This Message: http://www.cryonet.org/cgi-bin/rate.cgi?msg=3390