X-Message-Number: 3700 Date: 17 Jan 95 19:31:16 EST From: Mike Darwin <> Subject: CRYONICS Margaret and Paul For some reason this message did not post when it was first sent several days ago. MD ---------- Forwarded Message ---------- From: Mike Darwin, 75120,575 TO: cryonet, INTERNET: DATE: 1/12/95 5:35 PM RE: Copy of: CRYONICS Margaret Bradshaw The opening of this year has been a very painful one for me personally. First there was Paul Genteman's needless death and then Margaret Bradshaw's suicide. I first met Margaret during the pre cryopreservation care/consulting for Jerry White. I consider her one of the finest, smartest and most compassionate people I have ever known. Her care of Jerrry was extraordinary by any standards and the courage and steadfastness she showed was more impressive than I have observed in many families caring for dying family members. During the many days of intimate contact we and the others caring for Jerry had in Jerry's small condo, I got to know Margaret very well. We talked about our mutual illness and orientations; both of us were on Prozac for depression and both of us were homosexual. Words fail me to tell you how impressed I was with her and how deeply I grew to care for her and to admire her. I considered her one of ACSs very best. Margaret had a background in physiology and her father was a physician; so we had much to talk about in common there -- and she even owned a copy of Guyton's textbook on medical physiology: a benchmark which I use to evaluate anyone I meet re: their knowledge of physiology/medicine. I find it very hard emotionally to accept that Margartet is sitting a few feet away from me as I write this, cryopreserved. Unfortunately, I find it all too believeable intellectually because I understand, I guess about as well as anybody can, what happened to Margaret. Margaret died of a disease who's lethality is about equal to that of heart disease. It is called depression. It has been largely ignored in cryonics circles and yet it has claimed the lives of several cryonicists in the past, and it is endemic amongst bright, creative, driven and highly individualistic people like Margaret. I would also note that this is the SECOND suicide amongst a cryonics primary caretaker within the first year after the cryopreservation of the person for who's care they were responsible. (The first I know of of was Cindy Donovan). Clearly, people at increased risk of end stage depression (suicide) who are faced not only with the known depression-inducers of grief and loss, but the many added stresses associated with facilitating cryopreservation, should be carefully monitored and given support and (where necessary) intervention should they become suicidally depressed. Margaret was in the throes of a classic major depressive episode when she took her life. She had been unable to sleep for at least three days and had recently shifted medications and was clearly deeply despondent the evening of her death. I am placing no blame here on anyone. She was surrounded by loving friends who had seen her depressed before (and helped her through it). None of them even remotely thought she would take her life. Due to the outstanding efforts of Steve Harris, M.D. the Santa Clara County Medical Examiner was persuaded to forego autopsy of Margaret's head. However, the extensive nature of the rest of the autopsy and the long normothermic delay while the "crime" scene was secured and documented made her perfusion one of the most challenging we have ever done. I am writing this both to say how grief stricken I am at Margaret's loss and at Paul's; both good friends and colleagues. I am also writing this because the problem of depression in cryonics has not been adequately addressed -- and perhaps more to the point, the issue of the ROLE of cryonics in causing depression and reduced quality of life has not been addressed at all. I will try to do that in future messages, once I have a little time to regain my own equilibrium. For now, I will simply say that while I respect Bob Ettinger, I feel very strongly that both he and CI have not had the same kinds of experiences in doing cryopreservations that Alcor and ACS have had. The complex medical tradeoffs, serious distrubances to family structure, and many other factors too numerous to list here are probably simply not in his repeteroire of experience. Yet. Lucky him. Not so lucky, however, is the sad and in my opinion certain fact that things will not long remain that way for CI, particularly as it grows. If there is anything that can be learned from our experiences by CI or others, I want that knowledge to be communicated. Margaret, Paul, I wish you the very best and it is my most fervent desire that we meet again, hopefully in a time and place where we can laugh and reminisce about the dark ages from which we were so lucky to have made our escape from.... Mike Darwin Rate This Message: http://www.cryonet.org/cgi-bin/rate.cgi?msg=3700