X-Message-Number: 4728
Date: 07 Aug 95 03:07: EDT
From: Mike Darwin <>
Subject: CRYONICS: Derek's post

Derek Ryan gets high marks from me in his recent satirization of my 
"rantings".  My appreciation of Derek's humor was delayed due to e-mail 
problems.  Finally, Paul Wakfer took pity on me and read me Derek's post.  
Thanks Paul, thanks especially since you had to listen to my riotous and 
annoying laughter through most of it.

Now that I've gotten up from having my ass drug over the pavement for a 
mile or so, I feel compelled to offer some minor corrections to an 
otherwise excellent post.

1) Derek is quite right that I *did* use a stick and some dirt.  However, 
he failed to note that it was *raining* and that I was in reality using the 
far better known and documented approach known as The Stick In The Mud 
Algorithm.

2) Before one denigrates sticks and dirt instead of Cray XMPs, I would 
point out that this method was used by two illustrious colleagues of mine 
to solve problems of great relevance to humanity successfully: Archimedes 
(who regretably died using the method; it *is* slow, but sure. However 
Roman soldiers, or soldiers in general for that matter, are not know for 
their patience and in this case the intersection of the two was most 
unfortunate.) and, of course, Aristarchus who determined the earth was 
round using sticks in mud, if I recall correctly.  Not bad company, huh?

3) Several people wrote to advise me of more effective psychiatric meds and 
to discourage my use of neuroleptics (major tranquilizers like haloperidol, 
Thorazine, etc.).  My attempt at humor lead some to suppose I am actually 
taking these drugs.  I have tried one of them (not under doctors orders) 
and all I have to say is that I COMPLETELY understand why it is difficult 
to get schizophrenics to take their medication.  Horrible! These drugs have 
less than zero abuse potential. I will however, happily accept 
contributions of alprazolam (Xanax) and promise to better behaved until the 
supply runs out.

4) As to Derek's other comments, well, I urge readers to withold their 
judgment and stay posted for my forthcoming treatise "MacroNanotechnology 
employing terrestrial sediments and a botanically derived marco 
imaging/effector in predicting nanoscale outcomes as they relate to 
cryonics organization survival.

5) As to the demonization of Ralph Merkle, please, extend him my 
congradulations!!! (Welcome, Ralph, always nice to see another familiar 
face down here!).  Regretably, I  had nothing to do with it.  In fact, this 
was the first I've heard of it.  Can anyone supply details?

Hopefully Ralph got the extra-long gold-clad horns which I was awarded.

Oh, and Ralph, forget the hydrogen fluoride, we now have far more effective 
and uniform methods of heating things at our disposal.  And one more thing, 
Ralph, before I forget!, bring a *long* spoon and don't forget, dinner is 
served (dress casual) promptly at 12:00.


Mike Darwin


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