X-Message-Number: 5164
From:  (David Stodolsky)
Subject: Fwd: something to lighten things up
Date: Sun, 12 Nov 95 15:00:25 +0100


Forward of letter <> from jaksantos 
<>:


                            ACCIDENT REPORTS


Many people who experienced automobile accidents were asked to explain what
happened in a few words or less on insurance or accident forms.  The
following  quotes were taken from these forms and were eventually published
in the "Toronto Sun", July , 19...


Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't
have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its
intentions.

I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my hand
through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I
hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and
headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached
an intersection, a hedge sprang up obscurring my vision. I did not see the
other car.

I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel
and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctors with rear end trouble when my universal joint
gave way causing me to have an accident.  As I approached the intersection,
a stop sign suddenly appeared in place where no stop sign had ever appeared
before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found
that I had a skull fracture.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the
roadway when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.

I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of
my car.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car
with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch
by some stray cat.

The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of
its path when it struck my front.

I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The
driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.


* Courtesy of: 'Here Comes Treble' *


=====================================

David S. Stodolsky      Euromath Center     University of Copenhagen
   Tel.: +45 38 33 03 30   Fax: +45 38 33 88 80 (C)


Rate This Message: http://www.cryonet.org/cgi-bin/rate.cgi?msg=5164