X-Message-Number: 5316
Date: 01 Dec 95 17:16:17 EST
From: Mike Darwin <>
Subject: Archimedes he ain't


One of the frustrating things in life for me is for people to say things like 
Oh, why 

didn't you go to Medical School and the *assert with certainty* that I am 
mistaken 

when I say it was not possible due to defects in my maths ability (use of the 
word 
"ability" re maths is an oxymoron in my case).  The following case came to my 

attention recently, and I found it intensely funny for personal reasons.  On 
reflection, 

I thought others might find it at least funny and worth the read.  This is 
*supposedly* 
the actual text of a letter to the British equivalent of a the USA's worker 

compensation board.  If it is real (and I am assured it is) then it is the 
product of a 
verbally gifted person who is physics impaired.


The take-homemessage here: Never mistake a block and tackle for a simple pulley.
-----------------------------------------

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional
information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form.  I
put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident.  You asked
for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details
will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade.  On the day of the accident, I
was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building.
When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left
over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to
lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached
to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof,
swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.  Then I
went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure
a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks.  You will note on
the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of
the rope.  Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up
the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which
was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.
This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the
broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident
reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not
stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two
knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph
2 of this correspondence.  Fortunately by this time I had
regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to
the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now
beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of
bricks hit the ground-and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed
approximately 50 lbs.

I refer you again to my weight.  As you might imagine, I
began a rapid descent down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming
up.  This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken
tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly.  The encounter with
the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries
when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only
three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of
bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty
barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and
presence of mind and let go of the rope.


Mike Darwin

Rate This Message: http://www.cryonet.org/cgi-bin/rate.cgi?msg=5316