X-Message-Number: 6248
Date: Thu, 23 May 1996 13:35:59 +0200 (MET DST)
From: Eugene Leitl <>
Subject: heavy heavy

Grave Solutions, by Daedalus (Nature's chief madcap scientist
and leading Dreadco employee. Hint: apply ;) where due. Nature,
Vol 381, 9 May 1996).

Mad cow disease is still headline news. A molecule of the cow's
brain protein gets wrongly folded into a 'prion'. This somehow
persuades other protein molecules to fold the wrong way too.
Prionic protein spreads relentlessly through the creature's
brain.

Brains seem strangely vulnerable to malfolding proteins. Even
Alzheimer's disease seems to develop by the spreading of amyloid
plaques of knotted protein. What we need, says Daedalus, is some
sort of 'molecular penetrating oil' that will insinuate itself
into protein molecules and force them to unwind. The oil he
proposes is heavy water.

Most proteins are copiously hydrated. Each folded molecule is
stitched together by hydrogen bonds, into a shape defined by
subtle and delicate balance of bond energies. Replace hydrogen
by deuterium, and all these will change. The deuterium bonds
will be slightly longer and weaker. The protein iwll be more
open, and less rigidly folded.

Sadly, you can't cure a mad cow or Alzheimer's victim with heavy
water. The stuff is poisonous in large doses, as if it altered
protein folding too strongly. But Daedalus reckons that heavy
water is only toxic by conflict with light water. A partly
deuterated organism, he says, is racked by deadly
inconsistencies and imbalances. He plans to take the body in one
stride from full hydrogenation to full deuteration, without
lingering in the dangerous mixed region between.

His first idea was to freeze-dry the patient to a desiccated
shell, and then to rehydrate him with heavy water. But he now
favours a less extreme procedure. The patient will be made
desperately thirsty, and then anaesthetized (possibly with heavy
alcohol). He will be placed in a cold bad of heavy water, to
chill his metabolism almost to a halt while soaking into his
skin. Simultaneously, a massive transfusion will replace his
blood with previously prepared heavy blood. On being warmed up
again, he will wake up a fully deuterated 'heavy man', little
damaged by the swift exchange. His prion diseases, not to
mention facial wrinkles, hardened arteries, arthritic joints,
long sight and other consequences of ancient, gnarled protein
molecules, should soon unwind. When they have, he could be
lightened again.

Daedalus will perfect the technique by animal trials: first with
jellyfish (which should deuterize easily), then mice, monkeys
and human volunteers. The final process, though expensive, could
transform our health, mental vigour and lonevity. Once the human
population had been treated, it could then be tried on all those
mad cows.

(Needless to say, this is a piece of dire rubbish. But clever,
enjoyable rubbish ;) It is interesting to note that scientists,
sometimes only half jokingly, put forward the most wild schemes
if given protection by motley and fool's cap camouflage. It
would be interesting to know how much hard scientists had been
infected by the >H and cryonics memes, without publicly
admitting it to their unforgiving colleagues and/or general
public. See Drexler & Co).


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