X-Message-Number: 907
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 92 20:53:15 +0200
From:  (David Stodolsky)
Subject: CRYONICS: Cryonics: Reaching for Tomorrow

Given the pending revision of "Cryonics: Reaching for Tomorrow", I thought I
would transmit my comments. I have not seen any promotional literature from
Alcor for eight years, and I must say I was impressed with this version.
However, there are many small improvements and some changes in overall focus
that would improve the presentation.

One major defect, first appearing on line 3, para. 2, p. 1 is the reference to
"advanced age" as a disease. This seem totally counter to the thrust of life
extension technology. Don't we want advanced age? Aging is not a disease. This
wording could just be replaced by "degenerative disease."

Para. 2, p. 2 has another ref to aging as a disease

Overall, chap. 1 is very good, however, as is chap. 2. and 3.

Unfortunately, the illustration on page 4, "Cell Repair Devices" triggers a bad

association. These machines look like insects. When I was studying psychology, I

read that something like 15 % of persons have an *irrational* fear of insects. I
am sure the idea of having millions of these machines running around inside the
body would be a total turn off for these people. Merkle has suggested that the

manipulators of these nanodevices could be tubes of diamond, this has some class
and these machines could be made to look more like robots, thereby solving the
problem. Also, I fail to see why such speculative stuff has to be introduced
this early.

Last line of para. 1, column 2, p. 5 has another ref to aging as a disease.


The box on page 7, last line uses "op. cit" in the reference. This is needlessly
obscure. I would prefer to see a referencing system through out that gives
author name and date, but this may not be appropriate for a popular
presentation.

Chapter 4 concludes, "the vast majority of biologic structure is preserved".
However, the photo on the same page and the drawing on the previous one shows
massive freezing damage. They certainly do not support the argument. I think
they can be moved to the appendix where these types of damage are discussed in
detail and illustrations are more needed. The crux of the argument, that
freezing of 60% of tissue water is acceptable, gets lost in the details. The
terms "high sub-zero" & "low sub-zero" are not transparent. This chapter is
*crucial* to sell cryonics as a life extension technology. It needs work.

Para. 2, col. 1 and para. 1 col. 3, page 16 have refs to aging as a disease.

End of para. 2, page 18. Last sentence is not clear. Control processes are
normally exercised by the body.

Last para. of col. 1 ref. to aging as does next to last para. on page 18.

Para. 1, page 24 has another ref. to aging. Para. 4 has a hyphenation fault.

Para. 2, page 27 states that people classified as dead have no rights. This is
not totally correct.

Para. 2, page 45 has another ref to aging.

Para. 3, p. 49 "who profess concern about nuclear war, but not about present
life span limitations, either are hypocrites...." certainly will alienate some
and is by no means obvious. 

Next to last line in next to last para. has an incorrect hyphenation. I prefer
no hyphenation and ragged right as this makes reading easier and avoids
hyphenation errors.

Para 1, col. 2, p. 50 cites aging as an illness. States, "...murder by willful
inaction." This appears to be a contradiction or at minimum an overstatement
bound to make people wonder about the judgement of the writers. The paragraph
ends with the sentence, " Can population concerns ever be a justification for
not saving people's lives?" Right off, I can think of such situations.

The next column has the sentence, "Cryonic suspension arrangements are made by

individuals using their _own_ earnings for saving their own lives." The argument
that resources not used for suspension could be better used to feed starving
people is flawed, but let's remember that ownership is a social construct, the
quoted sentence is therefore not an adequate rebuttal. 

A line of argument that could be used is that starvation is structural. At the
turn of the century 1/3 of the world's population of about 3 billion was

starving. Now 1/3 of the world's population of 6 billion is starving. This shows

there is a problem of social organization, not of resources. It is precisely the
incorrect use of social constructs, such as ownership, which maintains the
condition of starvation. (When I gave a paper at a Life Extension Conference

some time ago, I was the only social scientist there. I seems that competence in
this area is still pretty thin. I am willing to help in this area.)


Para. 1, col. 2, p. 51 equates rejecting life-extending technology with suicide.
Use of emotionally loaded terms such as "murder" and "suicide" in novel ways
does not increase the credibility of the argument. The terms are socially
defined and codified in the law. While cryonicists might like to have them
defined differently, they lose there communicative value to others if used
idiosyncratically. Idiosyncratic use of terms gives the impression of
fanaticism.

The glossary does not include technical terms found in the appendices, such as
"M". 


Last full para. on p. A2 states that no attempt has been made to obtain the full
scientific literature on brain freezing. Credibility would increase if this was
done, or some impartial criteria for the selection of literature was given.

Para. 1, p. A-4 uses the term "high sub-freezing. The last para. of col. 2 is
missing a comma after "5 days". If the article photo on that page is used, it
should be a clearer image.

Para. 2, p. A-5 has the line "Histochemical staining of undefined nature..."
These last three word can be removed.

Para. 3, p. A-6, use of "et al." in the text should be avoided.

Para. 2, col. 3, p. A-6 same for "i. e."

Appendix B is not very understandable to a non-specialist. If the objective is
to balance the optimism of the text, it will do this for very few. Is this
really worth the space?

The citation of Ayn Rand in the Acknowledgments should be shortened or
eliminated. Religious statements are not appropriate in sales literature.

Price at top of col. 2, p. A-43 conflicts with cover price.

Order form: "Immortality, Scientifically, Now" misspelled.
Credit card option not included in payment options at top of form.
If the address included "USA" persons outside the USA might be more inclined to
respond.


While it may not be realistic at the moment, charging for educational materials
ought to be avoided. Other presuspension charges, such as dues & sign-up fees,
can also play a disproportionate role in discouraging enrolments. From a
psychological standpoint there should be no disincentives at the earliest stage
of involvement. Sales will benefit if these cost are recovered as part of
suspension costs.

David S. Stodolsky                Messages: + 45 46 75 77 11 x 24 41
Department of Computer Science                 Tel: + 45 31 95 92 82
Bldg. 20.1, Roskilde University Center        Internet: 
Post Box 260, DK-4000 Roskilde, Denmark        Fax: + 45 46 75 42 01

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